Skip to content ↓

Tackling the DLA paperwork

11.5.26 – Some thoughts about the DLA Journey

Framing the Hard Days with Hope: Navigating the DLA Journey 💛

I wanted to share a story from a chat I had recently with a wonderful family. We were talking about the Disability Living Allowance (DLA) application, and honestly, their feelings hit so close to home for what so many parents go through.

When we first started talking, they admitted they felt a massive wave of "imposter syndrome." They found themselves thinking, “Do we really deserve this? Are things actually bad enough? Surely there are families out there who need this way more than us.”

If you have ever felt that way, I want you to take a deep breath and hear this: It is completely, 100% okay to feel this way. But please, don't let those feelings stop you.

The truth is, you don’t know until you try. DLA isn’t about labels or comparing your hard days to someone else's; it’s simply about getting your child the support, resources, and acknowledgment they rightfully deserve to help them thrive.

Taming the Mountain: The Power of "Chunking"

Even once this family decided to take the leap, looking at that massive, thick booklet of a form felt completely overwhelming. It feels like a mountain to climb.

The strategy we spoke about to get through it is incredibly simple but life-saving: Chunking.

Do not try to sit down with a coffee and tackle the whole thing in one evening. You will end up exhausted and disheartened. Instead, break it down. Treat it like a series of small, bite-sized tasks:

  • Decide you are only going to fill out one specific section today (like the mobility section or the night-time care needs).

  • Put the form away, close the folder, and give yourself permission to step away until tomorrow.

  • By taking it section by section, you protect your own energy and peace of mind.

The Golden Rule for Answering Questions: The "Three-Step" Method

When you do sit down to tackle a section, the form asks you to describe your child's needs. The best way to approach every single question is to use a powerful three-step formula. We called it the State, Evidence, Frequency rule:

  1. State It: Clearly state the difficulty or the extra support your child needs compared to a child of the same age without their needs.

  2. Evidence/Example It: Back it up immediately with a real-life example or reference a professional report. (e.g., "As noted in their speech and language report..." or "For example, last week they became so overwhelmed by the noise in the supermarket that they...").

  3. Duration & Frequency: Always explicitly state how long it takes or how often it happens. Use specific terms like "every day," "three times an hour," or "takes 45 minutes longer than standard."

Gathering Your Village: Tips for Evidence

You don't have to carry the weight of proving everything on your own shoulders. Gathering the right evidence can make a massive difference:

  • Look to Friends and Family: Sometimes we are too close to our own daily routines to see how much extra we are actually doing. Ask a close friend, a relative, or a childminder who knows your child well to write down a few specific examples of the extra care they see you provide.

  • The Power of Everyday Examples: A note from a grandparent saying, "When I look after them for two hours on a Saturday, I have to visually cue them every 5 minutes to stay safe," is incredibly valuable, real-world evidence.

  • Keep a Diary: If you're struggling to remember frequencies, keep a quick 3-day log on your phone of every time you have to intervene, soothe, redirect, or assist.

If you are standing at the bottom of this mountain looking up, remember: take it one page at a time. Be incredibly kind to yourself. You are doing an amazing job, and it is always worth trying.

Helpful Resources to Get Started

If you’re ready to take that first step, here are the official links to get the paperwork and find extra guidance on filling it out: